bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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