so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
