You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
NoShamevember. You game?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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