Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
