why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
