Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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