Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
