Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
