Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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