the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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