dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
