im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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