Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
