I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
