So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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