Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
