he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
