May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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