i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
