The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
