Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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