when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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