we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
