i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
