I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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