I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
