Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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