ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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