But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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