if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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