hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
