I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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