I seem to have left my pride at pride
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
