I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
