She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were destined to go to rehab together
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
