Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
