she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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