before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize