dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize