we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
