She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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