They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
