Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the day after is always just damage control
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
