no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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