he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
