thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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