you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Panties = found
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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