oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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