I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
