Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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