wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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