so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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