Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
