My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
