if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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