At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
