He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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