Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
