Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize