Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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