My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
