The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
