Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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