im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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