Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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