Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
