he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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