last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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