Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
