Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize