she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
