I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
