So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize