He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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