i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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