I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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