It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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